There Was a Powerful Moment When I Felt Insignificant as a Coach
There was a moment where this became undeniable for me–when I felt insignificant as a coach.
A client emailed me:
“You’re not a good coach. I didn’t learn anything from you.”
The words didn’t just land.
They stung.
Not because of what was said—
but because something in me immediately felt it.
It touched the exact place of my deepest fear—
the one I never wanted to be true.
What Happened in the Moment When I Felt Insignificant as a Coach
Disbelief came first.
A quiet:
“Wait… what?”
Instead of reacting, attention stayed on the response.
Focus remained on what she expressed.
The relationship closed cleanly.
That steadiness wasn’t accidental.
Years of inner work had already revealed something important—
this wasn’t about her.
It was the hidden mirror.
There was no need to defend, correct, or make her wrong.
Her experience could stand on its own.
Without blame and interference.
From there, it became possible to release the client completely—
and turn toward what was still present within me.
What Happened Later
Later, space opened to feel what was actually there.
Anger surfaced.
It wasn’t subtle or controlled.
A real sensation moved through my body—one that could easily take over.
Intensity followed.
The experience felt overwhelming, as if it could pull everything with it.
Instead of adjusting or calming it, I allowed it to be.
No soothing and no avoidance.
The emotion was allowed to express.
Then—something deeper emerged.
“I hate you.”
And, I didn’t act on it.
I didn’t push it away either.
Instead, I stayed with it.
Feeling it—
while also observing it.
Not getting lost in it.
And, not trying to make it different.
What That Moment Revealed
That moment clarified something essential.
The client wasn’t the issue.
The feedback wasn’t the issue.
Being right or wrong wasn’t the issue.
A deeper question came into focus:
Could I stay with what came up—
long enough to see what it was actually holding?
What’s Actually Happening When You Feel Insignificant as a Coach
Feeling insignificant as a coach
doesn’t come from the client.
It comes from what gets triggered within you.
This doesn’t show up as a thought.
It lives in the body.
A reaction forms, a surge rises,
and a deeper part of you begins to make itself known.
Attention naturally turns inward in that moment.
Why Feeling Insignificant as a Coach Doesn’t Resolve
That internal response doesn’t settle when the situation ends.
Analysis doesn’t change it.
Control doesn’t remove it.
Calm doesn’t resolve it.
That’s because it isn’t asking to be controlled.
It’s asking to be seen, heard, and understood.
Ultimately, it’s asking to be accepted.
The Moment I Understood How to Access the Truth
A different experience made this clear.
While helping my nephew and his wife move, I noticed a kitten in a cage.
The kitten had been rescued and placed there for safety.
It looked soft, curious, and easy to connect with.
Opening the cage, I moved closer to pick it up.
Immediately, it backed into the corner.
That response made something clear.
Moving toward it wasn’t what it needed.
It was afraid.
So I stopped.
But I left my hand at the edge of the cage.
Not reaching in and not trying to touch it.
Just there.
Available.
What Changed When I Didn’t Force It
Nothing shifted right away.
Distance remained, along with the tension.
Something changed internally, though.
The need to make anything happen disappeared.
Stillness replaced effort.
Within moments—something shifted.
The kitten began to inch toward me.
No force created its movement.
Safety did.
What That Showed Me
That moment revealed something simple—and profound.
Parts of us that feel rejected, unseen, or unsafe
don’t need to be fixed.
They need space and presence.
And, they need to experience—directly—
that they can trust us.
Why This Matters in Your Coaching
When something gets triggered, a familiar pattern appears.
A part of you feels:
insignificant
unseen
like the work doesn’t matter
The instinct is to move quickly—trying to resolve, understand, or change it.
That approach doesn’t work.
Pressure repels—
because that part doesn’t yet trust you.
What That Part Is Actually Asking For
What it needs is simple—
and challenging.
It needs to be met, felt, and allowed without force.
From there, safety develops and trust follows.
Only then can it reveal the gift it’s been holding for you.
Where the Significance Seeker Pattern Begins to Transform
Stopping your reaction doesn’t create change by itself.
Overriding it doesn’t resolve anything.
Instead, your awareness needs to expand to include the part
of you that needs your work to matter.
Because beneath that need, something deeper exists.
Something not fully seen.
And, something not yet embodied.
What This Moment Is Opening
This moment isn’t a setback.
It’s an opening.
An entry point into something deeper.
A part of you is ready to be seen—
not to control—
but to become part of how you lead.
Where This Leads (Without Forcing It)
Meeting that part of you changes everything.
Intensity softens.
Reactivity shifts.
Clarity begins to emerge.
None of that happens through force.
It happens through staying, allowing, and presence.
That ability develops over time.
One moment builds on the next.
Capacity expands through experience.
Feeling and observing begin to happen at the same time—
without avoidance
and without soothing.
The Shift in Coaching Authority
This is the edge where your work changes.
From Spiritual Coach—who can see what’s true,
but not yet the part of them that feels unsafe…
to SuperConscious Awakening Coach—
who can remain with what comes up
without needing it to resolve immediately.
If you’re starting to see that this isn’t something you can think your way through—
and you’re ready to develop the capacity to stay with what arises
instead of moving past it—
this is exactly the work we do inside Lead the Shift.
Reflection
When something comes up internally—
does the impulse move toward fixing it?
Or is there space to stay with it
long enough to see what it’s revealing?
Love and Brilliance,
